Comments on: Life http://12happychickens.com/2008/02/11/mi-vida-loca/ Fri, 10 Sep 2010 05:53:21 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.1 By: Dani http://12happychickens.com/2008/02/11/mi-vida-loca/#comment-523 Dani Thu, 14 Feb 2008 11:41:10 +0000 http://12happychickens.com/2008/02/11/mi-vida-loca/#comment-523 Hope you don't mind, but my observations... That whole arrangement does not sit well with me and I would not agree to it, personally. When we first moved to where we live now, I was the one with the good job, until my partner found one... despite that the bank account was joint... in fact still is to this day. If we wanted everything separate, then why would we have joined together? With you as the home laborer, basically without a steady outside income, this puts you at disadvantage even when things are good if you keep everything "his" or "hers". Especially though should something go amiss with your relationship. Yes, I know we all like to think we'll be head over heels with each other forever, and yes indeed, sometimes couples are. But sometimes things DON'T work out, sadly, in fact quite often this is the case more than the former. (I've been there, thanks BTW. Never again!) He should support the fact that you need to be able to survive without him, should something bad happen as well as should you two decide to part company. I would NEVER want my partner to suffer should either happen, so I did my best to assist her find and get an awesome job she loves with retirement, full bennies as well as being a place that can make her financially independent. He should also support the homestead improvements as sounds like it is all you have jointly, so that's partly your investment, and that's also what you desire. Can't always get everything his way now can he? If he were my husband I'd ask him if everything is either mine or yours, then where is our togetherness, and why did we marry anyway? Reminds me of that saying, why buy the whole pig, when you just want a little sausage? So I say, way to go, on getting the truck, and in taking care of yourself now and for the future. He's lucky you care enough to want to gift him with the bounty of your labors and love. As Louis K. Anspacher said: "Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal." Love is not blindly giving everthing of yourself up for someone else. Hope you don’t mind, but my observations…

That whole arrangement does not sit well with me and I would not agree to it, personally.

When we first moved to where we live now, I was the one with the good job, until my partner found one… despite that the bank account was joint… in fact still is to this day. If we wanted everything separate, then why would we have joined together?

With you as the home laborer, basically without a steady outside income, this puts you at disadvantage even when things are good if you keep everything “his” or “hers”. Especially though should something go amiss with your relationship. Yes, I know we all like to think we’ll be head over heels with each other forever, and yes indeed, sometimes couples are. But sometimes things DON’T work out, sadly, in fact quite often this is the case more than the former. (I’ve been there, thanks BTW. Never again!)

He should support the fact that you need to be able to survive without him, should something bad happen as well as should you two decide to part company. I would NEVER want my partner to suffer should either happen, so I did my best to assist her find and get an awesome job she loves with retirement, full bennies as well as being a place that can make her financially independent.

He should also support the homestead improvements as sounds like it is all you have jointly, so that’s partly your investment, and that’s also what you desire. Can’t always get everything his way now can he?

If he were my husband I’d ask him if everything is either mine or yours, then where is our togetherness, and why did we marry anyway? Reminds me of that saying, why buy the whole pig, when you just want a little sausage?

So I say, way to go, on getting the truck, and in taking care of yourself now and for the future. He’s lucky you care enough to want to gift him with the bounty of your labors and love.

As Louis K. Anspacher said:
“Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal.”

Love is not blindly giving everthing of yourself up for someone else.

]]> By: Connie Peterson http://12happychickens.com/2008/02/11/mi-vida-loca/#comment-505 Connie Peterson Mon, 11 Feb 2008 14:09:27 +0000 http://12happychickens.com/2008/02/11/mi-vida-loca/#comment-505 Good luck on your truck driving --- I hope it goes well. I can't believe that you still have a "mine" and "yours" income!!! Norm and I have had an "ours" income since the day we were married. Sometimes it all came from me, most of the time it all came from him. But we spend it together and discuss big things. However, I get a little bit during the month to play with. Things like fixing the house SHOULD be and "ours" thing!!! Sorry it's not working out that way with you two. To me, that's what making a marriage is all about!! Let's look at this next weekend - if the weather holds. I'm so glad we postponed yesterday!! Blessings Good luck on your truck driving — I hope it goes well. I can’t believe that you still have a “mine” and “yours” income!!! Norm and I have had an “ours” income since the day we were married. Sometimes it all came from me, most of the time it all came from him. But we spend it together and discuss big things. However, I get a little bit during the month to play with. Things like fixing the house SHOULD be and “ours” thing!!! Sorry it’s not working out that way with you two. To me, that’s what making a marriage is all about!!

Let’s look at this next weekend - if the weather holds. I’m so glad we postponed yesterday!!

Blessings

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